


I'm Holding onto You Holding onto Me

by delinquentprincess



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: 1x08, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, M/M, S1, Season/Series 01, The Drop Ship, This Is Sad, ark, day trip, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 21:41:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12284922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delinquentprincess/pseuds/delinquentprincess
Summary: Miller gets sent to the ground and Bryan thinks he's dead.





	I'm Holding onto You Holding onto Me

**Author's Note:**

> briller is one of my top ships on t100 (my favourite after Bellarke) and so i finally wrote something for them!

Bryan could feel his throat close up at the thought of Mr. Miller's words.

"What do you mean Nate's gone?"

David placed a steady hand on Bryan's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I mean that you can't see him. Because he's not there. Because we sent them to the ground."

Suddenly the room was spinning and Bryan was having trouble staying on his feet. He was hit with the notion that he didn’t remember what Miller smelt like, or what his voice sounded like, or the exact colour of his eyes.

"I never even got to say goodbye." It came out as a whisper.

"I know and I'm sorry -"

"You're _sorry?_ "

"Yes, son, I am."

" _No._ You don't get to be sorry. Because you could have stopped this. You sent your own son down there! You sent him down to die and you didn't even let us say goodbye to each other! You didn't even give Nate that opportunity! He's your son! You don't deserve to feel sorry." Bryan was up in David's face, poking at his chest. Bryan should have felt embarrassed for yelling and loosing it at Mr. Miller, but he couldn't care less. 

"When's the next ship down? I want on it."

"Bryan, it's not that simple-"

"Bullshit! As soon as the next ship is ready I'm going to be on it and you can't stop me!" And with that he stormed out of Alpha Station.

A day later, David knocked on his door. Bryan half expected him to tell him that the next ship was ready. But that wasn't it.

David's eyes were red-rimmed and he looked bone tired. Something cold settled into Bryan's chest. "What happened?"

"Nate went offline a few hours ago."

Bryan felt his jaw tremble, "What does that mean?"

"It means he's probably dead, Bryan."

A lump the size of a baseball formed in the back of Bryan's throat. The urge to scream and sob bubbled up his throat but he pushed it back down. Without giving David so much as a nod, he closed his compartment door. Bringing a shaking hand up to cover his mouth, Bryan slid to the floor and choked out the tears he had been holding back. They came out silent and hot.

Without Nate, Bryan had no one. The only other friend he had was Harper and she had been sent down with the rest of them. The full weight of Miller no longer being on the Ark – no longer living – hit Bryan like a train and he slammed his head against the metal door.

_It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair._

Now Bryan couldn't remember what Miller's laugh sounded like, how his lips felt, how easily their fingers fit together, when the last time they said I love you to one another was. 

Sitting there against the cold metal of the Ark, the thought of doing something stupid and getting himself floated crossed his mind twice. He felt so alone. But then he thought of Nate and how god damn disappointed he'd be in him. That only made Bryan cry harder.

Bryan didn't come out of his room for a week. 

He only emerged when David Miller was hammering on his door again because _he's alive, Bryan, Nate's alive!_

And when he reached the council room where they had the live feed hooked up, his breath actually got caught in his throat when Bryan heard his voice.

It was solemn and cracked as he told crying parents that their daughter had died from a spear to the abdomen, and it sounded nothing like the Nate he remembered _but it was him._

Oddly enough Bryan let David talk to Miller first. He waited just outside the room and tried not to eaves drop on the small family but it was hard when you thought your boyfriend was dead for a week.

And then he heard Nate call his name and Bryan's feet are moved on their own accord, and suddenly he was standing in front of a screen with gross tears on his cheeks but he couldn't care less because _Nate's alive._

Sobbing turned to hiccups, which turned to love declarations and reassurances. Miller kept saying how he wished Bryan were with him, but also how he didn't. Bryan promised he'd be on the next drop-ship down. 

David reluctantly had to separate the boys once again. And being the massive shithead that he is, Miller's grainy voice came through the screen,

"Give me a kiss goodbye"

"Nate, you're dad's right here. I'll kiss you when I get to the ground." Bryan deadpanned at his pain in the ass boyfriend.

Miller grinned, "I'll hold you too that, babe."

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback would be appreciated!


End file.
